Well, baseball awards week is upon us.
In the spirit of award-giving, I’d like to offer the following awards to members of the Yankee team:
Best Cook: AJ Burnett and his pie á la towel dessert.
Most Eager Rocker: Mark Teixeira
Best Eyes: In an upset, Francisco Cervelli defeats long time winner Andy Pettitte.
Best Roll Call Response: Nick Swisher and the Swisher Salute™.
Best Reason to make Scrambled Eggs: Melky Cabrera’s line after hitting for the cycle–picked up by YES cameras and Spanish-speaking lipreaders nationwide.
Best Reason to Cut My Hair So I Don’t Rip It Out: Robinson Canó coming to bat with runners in scoring position and two out.
The Nails Krzyzewski Award for Grit: Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez
It’s All About the Karma Award: Eric Hinske, for his third consecutive World Series appearance.
Best Reason to Learn the Japanese Word for “Daddy”: Hideki Matsui. Game Six. ‘Nuff said.
Self-proclaimed Idiot with the Single Smartest Play in the World Series: Johnny Damon and the Double Steal of Doom.
Allergic to Pie Award: Derek Jeter. And you, get your mind out of there!
The Fiery Clubhouse Leader Award: Jorge Posada
The I-am-God Award: Mariano Rivera.
All awards are non-transferrable and non-redeemable for other hardware such as MVP, Cy Young, etc. Winners receive all the honors associated with such awards.